


How Are We Alive?

by DeathByBeanie



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: :), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Human Experimentation, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kamukura Izuru Project | Hope Cultivation Plan, M/M, Nonbinary Kamukura Izuru, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, it gets worse then better then worse then happy ending :D, technically, well..., you'll get it when it happens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27342073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathByBeanie/pseuds/DeathByBeanie
Summary: It doesn’t matter, he needs to be on Chiaki’s level.Sitting down at his desk he opened his binder and started reading.He needs to be better.He will be better.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito/Nanami Chiaki, Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Pekoyama Peko, Mioda Ibuki/Tsumiki Mikan, Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 44
Kudos: 141





	1. Welcome to the Chat

**Author's Note:**

> This will have a chatfic set up with serious plot....i know that a lot of people dont like chatfics but they're fun and easier for me to write. 
> 
> Enjoy the fic im sorry for any suffering i may cause/hj

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chat names :D
> 
> Nekomaru--oh SHIT  
> Twogami(Imp)--there is an imposter among us  
> Mikan--*cries*  
> Hiyoko--Banana tails  
> Ibuki--*screaming*  
> Nagito--hopesexual  
> Sonia--Princess peach  
> Gundham--Our Hamster Overlord  
> Mahiru--mom friend  
> Teruteru--little bitch  
> Peko--sword wife  
> Hajime--hajimeme  
> Chiaki--nanameme  
> Fuyuhiko--baby gangsta  
> Kazuichi--Simp  
> Akane--will fight you

**Untitled Chat**

**4:53 PM**

**_Chiaki Nanami_ ** _has added 15 people to_ **_‘Untitled Chat’_ **

**Chiaki Nanami:** Welcome to the class chat…

**Mahiru Koizumi:** This is going to end poorly Chiaki

**Sonia Nevermind:** Oh! This is a wonderful idea Chiaki!

**Nagito Komaeda:** Why am I here? 

**Nagito Komaeda:** ….how lucky of me to be put in a chat with so many Ultimates

 **Nagito Komaeda:** What hope will come from this…..

**Chiaki Nanami:** Nagito.

**Nagito Komaeda:** …

**_Chiaki Nanami_ ** _has changed 1 name_

**Hopesexual:** ….fair

**Kazuichi Soda:** Yo why’s the weirdo here?

**Mikan Tsumiki:** i donnt think you sshouldd taalkk about yourr classsmmatess likee that kazzuicchi

**Chiaki Nanami:** You okay there Mikan?

**Mikan Tsumiki:** Imm sorry myy hanndss arre shaakiingg

**Ibuki Mioda:** HELLOOO EVERYONEE!!!

 **Ibuki Mioda:** MIKAN DO YOU WANT IBUKI TO COME OVER!!!!

**Mikan Tsumiki:** Iff you wanntt too….

 **Mikan Tsumiki:** sorry

**Chiaki Nanami** has changed 1 name

***screaming*:** ITS FINE IBUKI IS ON HER WAY!!!

_2 users have gone offline_

**Kazuichi Soda:** Chiaki’s the only one with admin rights

**Chiaki Nanami:** no

**Kazuichi Soda:** Thats not fair!!!

 **Kazuichi Soda:** wait huh

 **Kazuichi Soda:** who’s the other one

**Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu:** Its probably the fucking mystery student idiot

**_Hajime Hinata_ ** _has changed 1 name_

_1 user has gone offline_

**Chiaki Nanami:** what an entrance Hajime….

**Simp:** HEY!!

 **Simp:** You don’t even know me why’d you simp assign me

**Hajime Hinata:** He’s the “Miss. Sonia” one right Chiaki?

**Chiaki Nanami:** yeah…

**Hajime Hinata:** Then the name is fitting

**Simp:** CHIAKI WHO IS THIS AND WHY IS HE ALLOWED TO BE MEAN

**Chiaki Nanami:** Ah…

 **Chiaki Nanami:** He’s my childhood friend...we grew up together

**Hajime Hinata:** yeah that

**Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu:** Why are you fucking even in this chat if your not in our class

**Hajime Hinata:** No clue

 **Hajime Hinata:** Chiaki?

**Chiaki Nanami:** because you have no friends

**Hajime Hinata:**

**Hajime Hinata:** wow 

**_Hajime Hinata_ ** _has changed 1 name_

**ate dirt when she was 12:**

**ate dirt when she was 12:** rude

**_ate dirt when she was 12_ ** _has changed 1 name_

**Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu:** What the fuck Chiaki 

**Downed 12 jugs of OJ for a dare:** well damn chiaki right for the throat

**Simp:** you

 **Simp:** Why???

**Downed 12 jugs of OJ for a dare:** Why not?

**Simp:** fair

\-------------------------------------------------------

Of course Chiaki would reveal something stupid like that. Hajime laughed a bit. As Chiaki said they grew up together. They were neighbors after Hajime moved to Tokyo ten years ago.

He enjoys his time in Tokyo, he just wishes that he didn’t move for such a stupid reason.

Stupid isn’t the right word for it. His Dad wants him to go to Hope’s Peak Academy, the most prestigious school in Japan, maybe even the world.

He may not exactly enjoy it but that’s what is best for him. At least he can still be near Chiaki even if he’s in the reserve course.

The Ultimates don’t know that he’s a reserve. They probably think that he’s in another class, shit this is gonna suck when they find out.

Almost every Ultimate he has met has been a total ass upon seeing his reserve course uniform.

It doesn’t matter, he needs to be on Chiaki’s level.

Sitting down at his desk he opened his binder and started reading. 

He needs to be better.

He will be better.

**The know ™**

**5:03 PM**

**Should be dead™:** was that

**Should also be dead™:** yeah it was

**Should be dead™:** does he know?

**Should also be dead™:** no...i dont think so

**Should be dead™:** does he have a talent

**Should also be dead™:** no...i hope he never gets one

**Should be dead™:** do you think the school is trying to do it again?

**Should also be dead™:** maybe...i think

 **Should also be dead™:** hey....

 **Should also be dead™:** please dont treat him the way you did last time….i think that it was one of the final shoves….maybe

**Should be dead™:** After all he did for us last time

 **Should be dead™:** i dont believe i could treat him like that even if i wanted to

**Should also be dead™:** Thanks 

**Should also be dead™:** That means a lot

 **Should also be dead™:** see you tomorrow good night


	2. kicking bullies out of groupchats is fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just vibes kicking people from the chat and a look into Hajime's home life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chat names :D
> 
> Chiaki--nanameme  
> Fuyuhiko--baby gangsta  
> Kazuichi--Simp  
> Akane--will fight you  
> Nekomaru--oh SHIT  
> Twogami(Imp)--there is an imposter among us  
> Mikan--*cries*  
> Hiyoko--Banana tails  
> Ibuki--*screaming*  
> Nagito--hopesexual  
> Sonia--Princess peach  
> Gundham--Our Hamster Overlord  
> Mahiru--mom friend  
> Teruteru--little bitch  
> Peko--sword wife  
> Hajime--hajimeme

**Untitled Chat**

**4:20 AM**

**_Ate dirt when she was 12_ ** _has changed_ **_Untitled Chat_ ** _to_ **_How are we all still alive_ **

**_The know ™_ **

**4:21 AM**

**Should be dead™:** I know that I shouldn’t question an ultimate but…

 **Should be dead™:** That’s very not subtle...

**Should also be dead™:** :)

**Should be dead™:** :/

**How are we all still alive**

**7:00 AM**

**Teruteru Hanamura:** Ohoho what’s this :eyes:

**Downed 12 jugs of OJ for a dare:** No <3

  
  


**_Downed 12 jugs of Oj for a dare_ ** _has changed 2 names_

**_Hajimeme_ ** _has kicked_ **_little bitch_ ** _from_ **_How are we still alive_ **

**_How are we still alive_ **

**_8:00 AM_ **

**Simp:** Holy shit

**Hajimeme:** I don’t like him

**Simp:** Understandable have a nice day

**Twogami:** ah, I just realized this was here

**Ate dirt when she was 12:** :)

**_Ate dirt when she was 12_ ** _has changed 2 names_

**There is an imposter among us:**

**There is an imposter among us:** i suppose you are not exactly wrong

**Akane Owari:** I just found this heyy!!

  
  


**_Nanameme_ ** _has changed 9 names_

  
  


**Hajimeme:** We’re matching...

**Nanameme:** :)

**Our Hamster Overlord:** So the dark lady was right that a leech has invaded my land

**Simp:** it's the internet 

**Simp:** how could it be your land???

**Our Hamster Overlord:** Do not question me mortal!

**Simp:** jeez okay 

**Hajimeme:** Im not a leech

 **Hajimeme:** Zues kinnie

  
  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------------

  
  
  
  


“What are your current grades” came a gruff voice from the end of the dinner table.

“The same as last week.” he muttered.

“Speak up, I didn’t raise you to be stupid what are your grades Hajime?”

Taking a breath Hajime said with a completely even voice “99% in Japanese, 100% in History, 96% in Geometry, 98% in English, 99% in Science, and 100% in Psychology.” 

Looking up Hajime saw that his father had a contemplative expression on his face.

“Fix your geometry grade Hajime. You want to graduate, right?”

Grimacing Hajime looked down.

“Yes sir.”

“Look at me when you talk to me.”

“Yes sir.”

His dad sighs “I only want what’s best for you. You know that, right?”

“Yes sir.” 

Hajime understood completely. He has to do well at Hope’s Peak Academy. His dad doesn’t want him hating his life when he’s older.

Even if he doesn’t like it now, Hajime will come to appreciate his father someday.

  
  
  


\------------------------------------------------------------

  
  
  


**How are we all still alive**

**11:37 AM**

**Bossbaby:** What the fuck kind of chat name

 **Bossbaby:** change my fucking name

**Will fight you:** i don’t know baby gangsta

 **Will fight you:** seems pretty fitting to me

**Bossbaby:** I would prefer babygangsta to this bullshit

**Hajimeme:** :)

**_Hajimeme_ ** _has changed 1 name_

**Babygangsta:** fuck you

**Princess peach:** I believe it is an "rad" name fuyuhiko!

 **Princess peach:** I do not understand my name, may someone explain it?

**Hajimeme:** you don’t know mario?

 **Hajimeme:** but princess peach is one of the characters in the mario games that Chiaki keeps making me play

**Princess peach:** Oh! In my country we do not have many of the same names for games and movies!

 **Princess peach:** I understand the reference now..

  
  


_1 user has gone offline_

  
  


**Simp:** good morning miss sonia!

 **Simp:** and is no one gonna bring up her using the word rad???

**Banana tails:** EW A SIMP

  
  


**_Nanameme_ ** _has muted_ **_Banana tails_ ** _in chat_ **_How are we still alive_ **

  
  


**Simp:** Chiaki what-

**Nanameme:** she was going to bully Mikan as soon as she came online...i think

 **Nanameme:** Hajime too

 **Nanameme:** speaking of hajime

 **Nanameme:** @Hajimeme stop studying and take a proper break

**Hajimeme:** who says I'm studying?

**Nanameme:**

**Nanameme:** what else do you do in your freetime

**Hajimeme:**

**Hajimeme:** okay fine

  
  


_1 user has gone offline_

  
  


_\----------------------------------------------------------_

  
  


Hajime in fact did not stop studying. He didn’t know why he chose not to listen to his best friend. Well, he did know it was just stupid.

Like always, it was that stupid voice in the back of his head constantly telling him how worthless and boring he is to anyone he comes into contact with.

Why else would he have no friends? He is a worthless reserve course student after all.


	3. Hajime is NOT sick (unless)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime gets sick from over working himself like a big dumby 
> 
> plus plot :D

Sitting alone on the roof probably wasn’t how Hajime’s father wanted him spending his time, but here he was. Leaning against the ventilation on the roof of the reserve course building eating half of a turkey sandwich for lunch. All while feeling like utter exhausted shit.

What an amazing life at Hope’s Peak he lives. He knows that Chiaki and the other Ultimates don’t have to do any work. They don’t even have to go to class if they don’t want to. 

Then there’s the reserve course where they barely get a chance to breath before a new dificult subject is thrown at them. Maybe that’s why he feels so bad. Probably not.

He really doesn’t like the reserve course. He wishes he could be an Ultimate.

Then maybe he could truly be considered a friend of Chiaki’s, maybe then he could truly be her equal and not some no one that she hangs around with.

Finishing his sandwich Hajime took out his sketchbook and drew as he thought about his future. He needs to have a future that his father would be proud of. 

Looking up from his drawing he stares at the edge of the roof. 

He wishes he could just jump off. But he knows he can’t do that.

How disapointed would Chiaki be if she knew that he jumped off a roof, jumped off the reserve course roof like the coward that he is. 

He’s a second year for fucks sake he should have his shit together by now.

He should, but here he is grabbing his sketchbook and stumbling to the edge of the roof to sit with his legs dangled over top. 

He won’t jump...probably.

He just sits there, thinking about it, drawing.

Plenty of reserve course students have left according to the school. Most of the other reserve course students speculate that they died. Normally he’s not one to believe in rumors like that, but honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised.

Reserve life sucks.

Setting down his sketchook Hajime leans back and closes his eyes. He feels really sick right now. He is probably missing his geometry class right now but his head is pounding and his limbs feel like lead, how fun.

He ended up falling asleep like that, with his legs dangled over the edge of the roof and his sketchbook laying open next to him.

  
  


\----------------------------------------------

  
  


**How are we still alive**

**4:46 PM**

  
  


**Nanameme:** hey…

**Nanameme:** Has anyone seen Hajime?

**Baby gangsta:** How would we see him we don’t even know what he fucking looks like

**Baby gangsta:** hell we don’t even know his fucking Ultimate

**Nanameme:** Oh i forgot…

**Nanameme:** He doesn’t have an ultimate and he has brown choppy hair, tan skin, and green eyes. 

**Simp:** Doesn’t the reserve course let out an hour before us though?

**Simp:** maybe he already left?

**Nanameme:** We always walk home together he’s still around here somewhere

**Hopesexual:** Oh are the ultimates looking for a missing reserve course student?

**Nanameme:** Yeah me and Hajime always meet up at the fountain near the reserve building and walk home together...he hasn’t shown up

**Hopesexual:** I may know where he is

**Simp:** Of course the creep knows where he is 

**Nanameme:** oh where?

**Hopesexual:** well from where i’m standing by the vending machine near the reserve course building there appear to be a pair of legs on the roof

**Simp:** just legs…

**Baby gangsta:** just legs

**Hopesexual:** well i’d assume that there is a torso attached or hope’s peak would have quite a problem on there hands

**Hopesexual:** I could go get him for you if you would like Chiaki since i am near the bulding already

**Simp:** You go get Hajime?

**Simp:** alone

**Simp:** Why can’t Chiaki go?

**Hopesexual:** I see it was selfish of me to want to help an Ultimate such as Chiaki and meet her friend my apologies

**Nanameme:** its okay... both me and nagito can go get him…

**Nanameme:** it may not even be him...so yeah Nagito we can both go and check

**Hopesexual:** Oh how wonderful i can meet you over by the fountain if you would like Chiaki

**Nanameme:** no no it’s fine im already walking your way

  
  
  


_ 2 users have gone offline _

  
  
  


**Simp:** lol that’s gay

**Baby gangsta:** Soda you’re fucking gay

**SImp:** NO IM NOT?!?!?!

**Baby gangsta:** Sure you aren’t 

**Simp:** I LITERALLY LIKE MISS SONIA???

  
  
  


\-----------------------------------------------

  
  
  


“Hey, can you hear me?”

Blinking his eyes open Hajime saw a pair of worried murky grey-green eyes staring at him. 

“Are you okay? You don’t look so good.” came a light raspy voice from the boy above him. 

“Huh” he felt himself say not really processing anything. There was the boy above him, he was backing away now. The boy had shoulder length curly white and brown hair with pale skin and pretty grey-green eyes.

Next to him was a girl with pink hair and a cat hoodie. Chiaki, his brain supplied him. 

What was going on? Blinking blearily he looked at Chiaki and the other Ultimate in confusion. 

“You weren’t at the fountain and Nagito said he saw someone sitting on the roof, I think.” Oh. He fell asleep on the roof. Looking around he saw his sketchbook off to the side and the edge of the roof a few feet away. Wasn’t he at the edge of the roof?

As if reading his mind the other Ultimate, Nagito answered his internal question.

“We moved you a bit away from the edge before waking you up, sorry about that we just didn’t want you to fall to your death.” the white haired ultimate laughed before being jabbed in the side by Chiaki. Weird.

Sitting up properly Hajime leaned against his elbows almost falling back down because his headache was still very much there, damn he wished he could of slept it off but oh well, such is life.

“Are you alright Hajime?” Chaiki asked coming to kneel next to him.

“Yeah fine” he grunted sitting up, he felt like shit and simply moving was straining his mind and muscles.

“You don’t look very fine.” Nagito stated simply. Wow, is it that obvious?

He looked at the tall ultimate in what he hoped was a glare but was most likely just a tired stare. 

With a sigh he stood up he has to get home and study or his dad would get on to him.

Small problem with that though, the moment he stood up he fell back down. Luckily Nagito caught him. Although Hajime was a bit too heavy so Nagito ended up bringing them both down to there knees.

“Are you sick?” Chiaki asked with a worried frown.

Is he? No, he’s not sick, he can’t be sick, he has way too much work he needs to do. 

He is not sick.

Nagito put a cool hand on his forehead “He feels like he has a fever.” 

“I don’t have a fever” Hajime mutters. This can’t be happening. He is not sick.

“Oh my apologies, trust trash like me to mess up on something as simple as checking if someone has a fever.”

“Nagito.”

“Right, sorry Chiaki…”

Chiaki lifted her own cold hand to his forehead and lo and behold, he was burning up.

With a sigh Chiaki stood up and offered Hajime her hand “come on me and Nagito can bring you to my house before your dad gets home.” 

with a sigh he goes to stand up on his own before catching Chiaki’s eye. She isn’t asking his permission; they're going to help him.

A little irritated Hajime grabbed Chiaki's hand and let her help him up.

And with that they left with Hajime’s sketchbook still open at the edge of the roof.

  
  
  


\--------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  
  


**The know™**

**5:30 PM**

**Should be dead™:** _ hinata_drawing_of_trial_room.PNG _

**Should also be dead™:** maybe he’s starting to rememer?

**Should be dead™:** I don’t think so 

**Should be dead™:** Maybe it’s an unconscious thing?

**Should also be dead™:** maybe... 

  
  
  


**How are we alive**

**6:13 PM**

  
  
  


**Nanameme:** So we found Hajime….

**Simp:** That’s good was he on the roof?

**Nanameme:** Yeah,,,he’s at my house now though

**Simp:** oh :eyes:

**Hopesexual:** So am I

**Hopesexual:** Hajime is sick and resting so Chiaki helped him

**Nanameme:** Nagito.

**Hopesexual:** Chiaki and I helped him*

**Nanameme:** Good :)

**Baby gangsta:** dumbass got sick sittin on the roof?

**Nanameme:** he probably got sick from overworking himself again...i think

**Baby gangsta:** dont fucking reserve course students have like triple the amount of work that most juniors have

**Nanameme:** yeah about...i think

**Nanameme:** well it's definitely a lot given he works during lunch and by the fountain as well as until late at night

**Simp:** DOES HE NOT HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE???

**Nanameme:** no

**Hopesexual:** based on the reason for chiaki adding him here and him barely being online i’d guess no

**Baby gangsta:** You guys are really fucking in sinc right now it’s fucking creepy

**Nanameme:** :)

**Simp:** WHAT DOES THAT MEANNN

**Hopesexual:** :)

**Hopesexual:** oh he’s waking up 

**Hopesexual:** goodbye

_ 2 users have gone offline _

  
  


**Simp:** Why are we the only ones ever online?

**Baby gangsta:** bc everyone else found this fucking annoying and muted it

**Simp:** makes sense

**Simp:** So wanna talk about miss sonia

**Baby gangsta:** No.

  
  


_ 1 user has gone offline _

  
  


**Simp:** :(

_ 1 user has gone offline _


	4. hajime's dad can go fuck himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime's dad sucks that's the chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chiaki--nanameme  
> Fuyuhiko--baby gangsta  
> Kazuichi--Simp  
> Akane--will fight you  
> Nekomaru--oh SHIT  
> Twogami(Imp)--there is an imposter among us  
> Mikan--*cries*  
> Hiyoko--Banana tails  
> Ibuki--*screaming*  
> Nagito--hopesexual  
> Sonia--Princess peach  
> Gundham--Our Hamster Overlord  
> Mahiru--mom friend  
> Teruteru--little bitch  
> Peko--sword wife  
> Hajime--hajimeme

  
  


**How are we alive**

**7:13 PM**

  
  


**Hajimeme:** screw you Chiaki immnot sick

**Nanameme:** press x to doubt

**Nanameme:** x

**Hopesexual:** x

**Simp:** x

**Baby gangsta:** fucking x you sound like shit

**Hajimeme:** this is is a group chat and youve never even heard mee befor

**Baby gangsta:** look at your shitty spelling and it’s pretty fucking obvious that you feel like shit

**Nanameme:** Hajime.

**Hajimeme:** not sick.

**Hopesexual:** You’re curled up on Chiaki’s bean bag with a 102 degree fever….

**Hopesexual:** don't trust my worthless judgement but that sounds like you would feel pretty sick…

**Hajimeme:** theres a difference to feeloing sick and being sicl

**Hopesexual:** trust trash like me to mess up on something like that

**Nanameme:** Nagito.

**Nanameme:** Hajime.

**Hopesexual:** ...

**Hajimeme:** ...

***screaming*:** CHIAKI HERE REIGNING IN HER SELF DEPRECATING BOYFRIENDS LMAOOOO

***cries*:** i donnt think yuo shoouldd insiinuatee sommethinng like that abtt ourr classmatess Ibuuki

**Simp:** Since when were you two online?

***screaming*:** OH IBUKI AND MIKAN ARE ALMOST ALWAYS ONLINE LOL

**Simp:** i’d never see you two as the kind to lurk

**Simp:** creepy

***cries*:** im sorry

**Nanameme:** You’re fine mikan

**Nanameme:** Now Hajime.

  
  


_ 1 user has gone offline _

  
  


**Nanameme:** :\

**Hopesexual:** :\

_ 2 users have gone offline _

  
  


**Baby gangsta:** anyone else find it fucking weird that none of us have met Hajime?

**Simp:** I mean

**Simp:** we haven’t really had the chance to he’s apparently always studying and is in the reserve course so-

**Baby gangsta:** i wasn’t being fucking serious ik that idiot

  
  
  


\-------------------------------------------------------

  
  
  


Nagito wasn’t wrong when he said that Hajime was curled up on Chiaki’s bean bag. Closing the chat Hajime sighed as he turned to face the two ultimates. 

Nagito was looking at him with a small smile while he was wringing out a damp towel in Chiaki’s bathroom sink and Chiaki was playing something on her gamergirl. She was just typing in the chat, how the fuck?

You know what Hajime’s just not going to even question the Ultimates at this point.

“You should really work on taking better care of yourself Hajime...I think.” Chiaki murmured from behind her game.

He knows that he doesn’t have the best record of taking care of himself but he is passing all his classes (he could do better though) and he has basic hygiene down...to an extent.

“I take care of myself...” Hajime mutters staring at Chiaki with half-lidded eyes.

She gives him a look before going back to her game, gala omega maybe?

With a sigh, he’s been doing that a lot recently now that he thinks about it, he reaches over next to the bean bag to grab his binder so that he can get started on his homework. 

He was at least, before he was stopped by a cold hand grabbing his wrist and pushing him back onto the beanbag before placing a cool rag on his forehead.

Holy shit that felt nice against his uncomfortably warm skin. Looking at Nagito in confusion Hajime went to grab his binder again before being stopped.

“You really shouldn’t be working when you’re sick.” The sickly looking Ultimate stared at him, waiting for Hajime to argue. Too tired to argue Hajime just layed back on the bean bag making sure to glare at Nagito as he did so.

“I’m not sick enough to skip out on homework” 

And he was right, he wasn’t. A fever and a headache isn’t enough to skip out on homework he needs to keep his grades up. Missing any homework or god forbid he miss any school, he would fall that’s for sure.

He really didn’t want to think about that right now.

He decided since he apparently wasn’t allowed to work he should just relax, with that he let himself fall into a slight doze.

He hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep there not five minutes later.

And not even five minutes after that there’s banging at the front door; his dad noticed that he wasn’t at home doing his work, fun.

Grumbling Hajime got up and grabbed his bag, while Nagito ran up to him ready to tell him to sit down and rest before Chiaki put her hand on his sleeve. 

“It’s probably his dad, we can meet him at the door…” She frowned at Nagito.

With a slightly worried expression Nagito followed Chiaki and him to the front door to greet his father.

Immediately after opening the door he was greeted with the face of his father glaring him down. 

“Where were you?” oh how to tell him that he fell asleep on the roof.

“Chiaki’s?” He replies in a questioning tone.

“You should be working. Do you not want to be successful Hajime?”

“No sir, I want to be successful.”

“Then act like it, what were you doing here with Chiaki and her friend?” His father narrowed his eyes at him probably jumping to conclusions and thinking that they were doing drugs or something.

“They were studying with me.” Came his curt reply.

“Don’t give me that attitude!”

“Yes sir.”

His father turned to Nagito and Chiaki who both looked like they would rather be anywhere else right now.

“Thank you for helping my son with his work, he has really been needing it.” Hajime’s dad said with a small smile. 

He doesn’t need help; he needs to work harder.

“Of course Mr. Hinata, we were happy to help Hajime with his geometry work.” Nagito smiled at his father clasping his hands together.

How in the world did Nagito guess that he was struggling in geometry? Fucking Ultimates!

“I’m glad!” his dad smiled, clasping his large hand on Hajime’s shoulder, gripping it tightly.

“If you would like we could help him study more often, since you said that he’s been struggling.” Nagito smiled at his father, his eyes crinkling slightly.

His father paused for a moment thinking it over before smiling at Nagito and Chiaki, “That would be amazing,” his father turned to Hajime “If your grades drop anymore than they already have then you’ll be grounded and I won’t allow you to study with Chiaki and her friend. Got it?”

“Yes sir.” Hajime wilted away from his dad’s harsh eyes.

“Good.” with a smile Hajime’s father said bye to Nagito and Chiaki before steering Hajime away from them and walking to his house.

  
  


\-------------------------------------------------

  
  


**The know™**

**9:36 PM**

  
  


**Should be dead™:** Well looks like we know one of the things that pushed him over :/

**Should also be dead™:** Yeah probably…

**Should also be dead™:** But i don’t think there’s anything we can do abt it...that I know of

**Should be dead™:** isn’t that child abuse of some sort?

**Should also be dead™:** I’ve tried to get him out of his house but the only thing i know for sure happens over there is gaslighting and possible psychological abuse....i think…

**Should be dead™:** Is there even anything that we can do about that…

**Should also be dead™:** i dont think so….the only thing i can think that we could do is to be there for him

**Should also be dead™:** and by helping him study we should be able to at least see how he’s doing daily which can help us find out if he’s considering going through with the Kamukura project again…..probably

**Should be dead™:** ah yes helping Hajime study….maybe you could convince him not to do the project!

**Should also be dead™:** both of us nagito…

**Should be dead™: ...** right

**Should be dead™:** maybe both of us could convince him not to do the project*

**Should also be dead™:** also…

**Should also be dead™:** how did you know that Hajime was struggling in geometry….

**Should be dead™:** Well…..the time he asked if an octagon has eight sides just always stuck with me…so it was a lucky guess really

**Should also be dead™:**

**Should also be dead™:** pfft-


	5. fuyuhiko your opinion is not valid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang gets pizza!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chiaki--nanameme  
> Fuyuhiko--baby gangsta  
> Kazuichi--Simp  
> Akane--will fight you  
> Nekomaru--oh SHIT  
> Twogami(Imp)--there is an imposter among us  
> Mikan--*cries*  
> Hiyoko--Banana tails  
> Ibuki--*screaming*  
> Nagito--hopesexual  
> Sonia--Princess peach  
> Gundham--Our Hamster Overlord  
> Mahiru--mom friend  
> Teruteru--little bitch  
> Peko--sword wife  
> Hajime--hajimeme

**How are we alive**

**12:17 PM**

  
  


**Will fight you:** Do y’all like pineapple on pizza

**Baby gangsta:** you disgust me

**Simp:** I don’t see a problem with it

***screaming*:** YEEAAAHH IBUKI LOVES PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA ITS HER FAVORITE 

**Baby gangsta:** don’t tell me everyone here likes that gross shit

**Hajimeme:** well i’ve never had pizza so-

**Baby gangsta:** How tf have you never had pizza

 **Baby gangsta:** Fuck that you’re eating pizza

 **Baby gangsta:** Not fucking pineapple on pizza tho

**Simp:** YEAH!!

 **Simp:** i can’t believe you’ve never had it

 **Simp:** you’re meeting us at that fountain you chiaki and the creep go to and we’re eating pizza

**Hajimeme:** Uh okay?

 **Hajimeme:** i kind of have to go with Chiaki and Nagito though so that my Dad knows i studied before coming home tho

***screaming*:** CAN IBUKI AND MIKAN COME

**Simp:** fine they can both come 

**Simp:** You too Ibuki

 **Simp:** and mikan if she wants to

**Nanameme:** :D

**Hopesexual:** :D

**Baby gangsta:** were you two fucking lurking 

**Simp:** wtf do you guys just appear whenever Hajime says your names 

**Nanameme:** yes :)

 **Nanameme:** i think

**Hajimeme:** yeah you pretty much do-

**Hopesexual:** :)

**Simp:** does the creep really have to come….

**Hajimeme:** since you called him a creep again 

**Hajimeme:** yes

**Simp:** >:(

**Hajimeme:** :)

**Simp:** >:0

**Baby gangsta:** can you two fucking not with your homoerotic bullshit

**Simp:** Hajime’s my soul friend it’s strictly platonic

**Hajimeme:** uh...yeah that ig

**Simp:** AND

 **Simp:** Im! not! Gay!

***screaming*:** …...unless

**Baby gangsta:** sure your fucking not 

**Nanameme:** No capslock?

***screaming*:** THE MEME DOESNT WORK IN CAPSLOCK

**Nanameme:** Understandable have a nice day

  
  
  


\------------------------------------------------

Hajime, as it turns out, does not like pizza. It just didn’t sit right with him...too greasy. Kazuichi, Chiaki and Fuyuhiko seem to like it atleast. It seemed that him and Nagito had come to a mutual agreement that pizza is absolutely disgusting.

Hajime looked around the small restaurant arcade the group found themselves at, everyone looked to be having a good time. There were only three other groups other than themselves.

There were two middle school students one of which was making a ruckus while the other tried to reign him in, what a mood.

There was another group of highschoolers, they appeared to be Hope’s Peak main course students. They were just sitting at another table conversing.

Then there was a group of Hajime’s classmates. Oh shit. 

Hajime prays to any god there may be that they don’t notice him. 

“Hey Hajime, got any hobbies?” Kazuichi grinned at him from behind his pizza slice.

“Oh, no, not really I don’t exactly have time for hobbies.” Hajime smiled awkwardly.

“Damn, Chiaki wasn’t kidding when she said that all you do is fucking study.” Fuyuhiko crudely stated.

Oh yeah.

With an awkward laugh Hajime stood up saying that he was heading to the restroom.

Damn, he really doesn’t know how to socialize. He doesn’t spend _all_ of his time studying.

Does he?

Leaning against the wall in the empty restroom Hajime thought about how yesterday went.

After he left school he met up with Nagito and Chiaki at the fountain before going to Chiaki’s. When they got there Hajime finished his homework while Chiaki showed Nagito the new game she preordered

After he finished his homework he read over his notes a few times while talking with Nagito and Chiaki about trivial things like annoying teachers and freshmen. 

When it got to be 7:00 pm he packed up his things and walked home to go over his grades with his father and then do quizlets until 9:30 pm because that's when his dad turns off the internet.

He really doesn’t have any hobbies huh. It can’t be helped though. He needs to be good enough somehow, and cutting slack won't make him deserving of Nagito and Chiaki's friendship.

“Well, well, well, what’s another reserve course student like yourself doing hanging out with a group of Ultimates?” 

_Well shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER i just rlly wanted to be mean /j
> 
> but real question here....do y'all like pineapple on pizza cause if im being honest here it aint that bad


	6. we all knew you were gay soda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> o comes out Hajime gets his ass beat. Soda finally admits that he's gay. And Hajime comes to a revelation. And Nagito comes out :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kazuichi--Simp  
> Chiaki--nanameme  
> Fuyuhiko--baby gangsta  
> Akane--will fight you  
> Nekomaru--oh SHIT  
> Twogami(Imp)--there is an imposter among us  
> Mikan--*cries*  
> Hiyoko--Banana tails  
> Ibuki--*screaming*  
> Nagito--hopesexual  
> Sonia--Princess peach  
> Gundham--Our Hamster Overlord  
> Mahiru--mom friend  
> Teruteru--little bitch  
> Peko--sword wife  
> Hajime--hajimeme

  
  
  


“Well, well, well, what’s another reserve course student like yourself doing hanging out with a group of Ultimates?” 

_ Well shit. _

Looking up from his musings Hajime saw three of his classmates. He doesn’t remember their names, then again, they probably don’t remember his.

The one who spoke to him was tall and muscular with pale skin and short dark hair, the two other reserved looked pretty much the same except one of them had a septum piercing.

Well at least Hajime knew where to aim if that septum guy tries to hit him.

“Oh, Chiaki’s my neighbor and she wanted-” Hajime started only to be interrupted by septum dude. 

“Oh so a reserve student thinks that he can just waltz in and talk to other ultimate's just because he lives by one. Just how arrogant are you?”

He cringes at that feeling of guilt that wracked his body. Is he being arrogant by hanging out with Chiaki and her friends? He is just a reserve course student after all.

“What’s the problem with me wanting to hang out with my friend?” Hajime retorted, not at all liking where this conversation is going.

“The problem is that you think she’s really your friend! She’s an Ultimate, you’re a reserve! She is above you in every single way. You are absolutely worthless in comparison. Do you really think that an Ultimate like herself would willingly associate herself with a good for nothing like you?” 

“But-”

Septum guy continued on

“She’s only hanging out with you out of pity. You probably don’t even mean anything to her. Just someone she keeps around because she would feel guilty if she dropped you out right.”

“No-”

With a harsh shove septum guy shoved him into the wall, his head smacking against it harshly, leaving his vision blurry. 

“Don’t you see how worthless we are!” 

“Hey man I'm sorry-”

“Shut up, and maybe learn your place for once!”

Septum punched him in the jaw sending him straight to the floor only to get kicked a few times by the other two students who he honestly forgot were there.

He got kicked and punched until he felt like he was going to faint.

“The hell’s going on here?” Came a loud shout from the doorway.

Fuyuhiko?

“Ugh, a main course student” one of his attackers groaned, he couldn’t tell which one, his ears were ringing too much. That probably wasn’t a good thing.

He didn’t really care though, they’re right he is just a reserve course student. Fuyuhiko will probably just leave them to finish what they were doing. 

“Hajime?” Fuyuhiko yelled.

Ah, so the ultimate yakuza would beat him up, how fun.

Hajime really didn’t want to pay attention to anything right now so he just let himself zone out. Like he wasn’t even there just letting time pass as he laid there staring at the wall though not really seeing it. He was just looking, barely processing his surroundings.

He didn’t know how long he laid there in the fetal position, just staring off into space while Fuyuhiko, followed by Kazuichi, Nagito and Chiaki tried to get his attention. 

“Hey hey Hajime, are you there?” Chiaki asked him.

“Hm?“ He mumbled having just heard Chiaki’s voice through the haze of his own head.

“Oh so he can actually fucking hear us now?” 

“Huh, oh yeah I can hear you.” Hajime mumbled. He felt really tired...and dizzy, though he just got his ass beat so that’s to be expected.

“C-can I t-take a lo-ok at him?” Came mikan’s voice from behind the growing group in the restroom doorway. 

What happened? Hadn’t he just been getting beat up by the other reserve course students.

He was drawn out of his musing by a soft hand on his shoulder. He flinched back in surprise, not expecting someone to touch him.

“I'm s-sorry, i didn’t me-mean to hurt you!” Mikan cried, distraught at the thought of hurting him. Weird.

“What? No, it’s fine.” Hajime mumbled feeling really tired and out of it. Gods above he didn’t want to deal with this shit.

He sat there as he let Mikan look over his injuries. 

“Well, uh, well it l-looks like yo-you possibly have a bruised rib and i-i think we sh-should go to the hos-hospital in case you h-have a concussion.”

“What? I’m fine, I don’t need to go to the hospital!” He doesn’t need to go to the hospital, he can’t have them say he needs to miss school.

“Fine. Come with me H-hajime we’re going to the school’s nur-nurse office since you won’t go to the hospital.” When did she get so authoritative? Guess that would be the Ultimate nurse for you.

“Come on Hajime, it would be best if we all leave anyways we caused enough of a disturbance already.” Nagito sighed reaching his hand out for Hajime to take.

With an annoyed grumble Hajime grabbed Nagito’s hand and let himself be led away from the restroom and to the school so that the Ultimates could take a look at his injuries.

  
  


\-------------------------------------------------

  
  


**How are we still alive**

**9:27**

**Simp:** What does one do when they accidently date their rival

**Baby gangsta:** all i’m taking from this is that youve finally realized how fucking gay for Gundham you are

**Simp:**

**Simp:** yeah

**Nanameme:** Well that took a while…..i think

**Baby gangsta:** Well you still need to confess to your fucking crush

**Nanameme:** No <3

**Hopesexual:** Chiaki you have a crush?

**Hajimeme:** Since when did you have a crush Chiaki??

**Hopesexual:** She didn’t tell you?

**Hajimeme:** no

**Hopesexual:** odd

\------------------------------------------------------

  
  


**Hajime --- > Nagito**

**9:33**

  
  
  


**Hajime:** Hey Nagito do you know anything about feelings?

**Nagito:** depends

**Nagito:** What kind of feelings?

**Hajime:** That’s the thing

**Hajime:** I have absolutely no idea

**Nagito:** You could try asking Chiaki

**Nagito:** She’s a lot better than me at this kind of thing

**Hajime:** and if it’s about her….

**Nagito:** oh

**Nagito:** _ OH _

**Hajime:** It’s just

**Hajime:** I felt sick to my stomach when Fuyuhiko said she had a crush….but just thinking like that made me feel really guilty

**Hajime:** Like why do i feel this way 

**Nagito:** ...I think you might have a crush on her Hajime

**Hajime:** well shit

**Hajime:** and here i thought i was gay

**Nagito:** you’re gay?

**Hajime:** Apparently bi now 

**Hajime:** but yeah i like guys

**Nagito:** And here i thought you were straight

**Nagito:** Trust trash like me to think that of you

**Hajime:** You’re fine Nagito but yeah i guess it would make sense for those feelings to be a crush…

**Nagito:** Since you came out to me i will return the favor

**Hajime:** You don’t have to it’s fine

**Nagito:** No no i want to 

**Nagito:** I’m gay and non-binary, I go by he/they pronouns

**Hajime:** I'm glad you told me

**Hajime:** What pronouns do you want me to use in the main chat

**Nagito:** he/him if that’s okay and they/them around Chiaki is fine she already knows

**Hajime:** Sure thing i’ll be sure to keep to it 

**Hajime:** Thank you for telling me nagito

**Nagito:** Of course Hajime!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i dont know how to write a lot of characters in one scene hhhhhhhhhhh


	7. New Chats :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there are new chats as well as new NB's :D
> 
> i rlly like she/they chiaki and he/they nagito okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't tell me that Hajime wouldn't call Chiaki "Mi'they'dy" and Nagito "Gentlethem" bc he would

  
  


**Untitled Chat**

**9:24 AM**

  
  


**_Chiaki Nanami_ ** _has added_ **_Hajime Hinata_ ** _and_ **_Nagito Komaeda_ ** _to_ **_‘Untitled Chat’_ **

  
  
  


**_Chiaki Nanami_ ** _has changed_ **_‘Untitled Chat’_ ** _to_ **_‘two enbys and a trans guy walk into a room, sounds like the beginning of a bad joke’_ **

  
  
  


**_two enbys and a trans guy walk into a room, sounds like the beginning of a bad joke_ **

**9:32 AM**

  
  
  


**_Hajime Hinata_ ** _has changed chat name to_ **_meme_ **

  
  


**_Hajime Hinata_ ** _has changed 2 names_

  
  
  


**Nanameme:** :(

**Hajimeme:** it was way too long

**Memeaeda:** i shouldn’t correct an ultimate but...it was quite long Chiaki

 **Memeaeda:** and is this your way of coming out to us?

**Nanameme:** I didn’t feel like getting sappy

 **Nanameme:** But yes she/they pronouns would be appreciated preferably she/her in front of my classmates if that’s alright

**Hajimeme:** of course 

**Memeaeda:** of course Chiaki

**Nanameme:** thank you

**Memeaeda:** Oh yeah i forgot to ask but Hajime do you draw?

**Hajimeme:** In my freetime yeah

 **Hajimeme:** Why?

**Memeaeda:** Oh i found a sketchbook with your name in it near the reserve building 

**Hajimeme:** So that’s where it went

**Nanameme:** When did you lose your sketchbook?

**Hajimeme:** Abt a week ago when you guys dragged out off the school roof

 **Hajimeme:** I have no idea how nagito found it but im glad he did

 **Hajimeme:** Do you think you could bring it to the fountain during lunch Nagito?

**Memeaeda:** of course 

**Hajimeme:** Now I need to go to class have a good one guys!

**Nanameme:** you too Hajime

**Memeaeda:** have a good one 

\---------------------------------------------------------

**How are we alive**

**12:57 PM**

  
  


***screaming*:** YOU GUYS KNOW HOW IBUKI AND YOU GUYS ARE LIKE THE ONLY ONES EVER ONLINE RIGHT?

**Simp:** Yeah?

***screaming*:** WHAT IF IBUKI MADE A CHAT JUST FOR THE SEVEN OF US

**Hopesexual:** Why can’t we keep using this one?

**Hajimeme:** Well it would suck if we’re blowing up your classmates phones….

 **Hajimeme:** idc go forit i guess

**Nanameme:** It is a class chat and since they’re arely online i dont see the problem with it….i dont think…

***screaming*:** OKIE DOKIE

  
  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


**Untitled Chat**

**1:10 PM**

  
  
  


**_Ibuki Mioda_ ** _has added_ **_Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, Chiaki Nanami_ ** _and 4 others to ‘_ **_Untitled Chat’_ **

  
  


**_Ibuki Mioda_ ** _has changed 7 names_

  
  


**_Ibuki Mioda_ ** _has changed chat name to_ **_Tax Fraud_ **

**Simp:** Why tax fraud?

***screaming*:** WHY NOT?

**Simp:** I see your point

**Hajimeme:** You didn’t change any names?

***screaming*:** DO YOU WNAT IBUKI TO?

**Hajimeme:** no thanks im good with this name

***screaming*:** IF YOU SAY SO

***crying*:** w-why did you o-on;y channge my name i-ibuki

***screaming*:** SO WE CAN MATCH DUH

***crying*:** sfghjf

**Nanameme:** this folks is what we call gay panic

**Simp:** Why did i read that as gay panini

**Baby gangsta:** what the fuck kazuichi

***screaming*:** JSFHKJSFK GAY PANINI 

**Hajimeme:** **** _how tf_

**Hopesexual:**

**Hopesexual:** even i couldn’t make a mistake like that

**Simp:** IS IT BULLY KAZ DAY OR SOMETHING SHUT UPPP

**Hajimeme:** lol

  
  
  
  
  



	8. Hope's Peak is lowkey an Icarus ngl here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kamukura project :)
> 
> OH and Chiaki's opinion on stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't trust my knowledge on the brain this is all literally stuff I remember from my notes in AP Psych that I tried to use in order to have the Kamukura project make some anatomical sense.

Hajime held the papers in his hands reading them over and over again. If he signed them they would give him talent. He could stand on equal ground with Nagito and Chiaki. He could be someone his Dad can be proud of. He wouldn’t be a worthless reserve. 

But...surgery on the frontal lobe as well as other parts of the brain…

Changes in the frontal lobe can cause someone’s whole personality to change. 

Surgery on the limbic system...that could easily mess with his memory and emotions depending on what they do.

Surgery to give him athletic and musical talents... surgery to give him intellectual talents. That’s a lot of surgery that can have a lot of bad effects.

He knows that signing these papers could be suicide, but the word talent sunk its claws into his mind and is dragging him deeper and deeper down into despair. 

He doesn’t have a talent. Every single one of his friends has one. They all stand above him. He’s worthless in comparison. Just a rat in the gutter. 

The other reserve course students were right Chiaki is probably only staying around him out of guilt. They probably don’t even want to hang around him. 

Chiaki is too kind. They hang out with him even though they deserve so much better.

Nagito is too selfless. They never stop giving, they're always there and always helping. 

Hajime is too arrogant. He hangs around those so much better than him and he acts as if they are all on equal ground. He knows that they aren’t

He’s just some kid hanging around those who probably only stay around him out of pity.

He’s surrounded by such amazing people and yet all he can feel towards them is jealousy.

How deplorable. 

With a sigh he set the papers on his dresser if he tells his dad he knows that his dad will agree. Hell, even if he doesn’t want to, his dad will likely make him. 

He can’t tell his dad unless he is sure that he wants to do this. He doesn’t know what to do at this point.

Possibly kill himself? Or continue living a worthless existence surrounded by people so much better than him?

Hope’s Peak is giving him a few weeks to decide. He has time to think about it.

Even though he thinks he already knows the decision he is going to make.

  
  


\-------------------------------------------------------

  
  


**Tax Fraud**

**4:21 PM**

  
  


***screaming*:** How hard is it to give someone a concussion

**Hajimeme:** Not hard why?

**Nanameme:** No caps lock?

***crying*:** P-please don’t g-give someone aa concussion I-ibuki

***screaming*:** thsi is important

 ***screaming*:** and if they are a transphobe

***crying*:** Then i-i h-had no i-idea abt itt

**Hajimeme:** Do you want me to tell you how?

***screaming*:** YES PLEASE

**Hajiememe:** ill tell you in dms 

***screaming*:** OKIE DOKIE

**Baby gangsta:** is no one concerned that Hajime knows how to give someone a concussion?

**Nanameme:** You’re Yakuza

**Baby gangsta:** and?

**Nanameme:** fair

  
  
  


\---------------------------------------------------

  
  


Chiaki was starting to worry for Hajime. Well, worry more than They already did. He’s been distancing himself more than usual. She feels like Hope’s Peak gave him the papers. 

She can’t really do anything about the papers. If Nagito or them found the paperwork and destroyed it Hajime would never trust them again. Trust is a very important thing to Hajime and when it’s broken it’s near impossible to earn it back in its entirety.

She really don’t want Hajime to agree to the project but they don’t know what they can do. 

Can they even do anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take my trash [cries]
> 
> sorry im trying to figure out how to write she/they pronouns when writing third person so im hhh
> 
> also i dare you to try to guess what song i listened to on repeat when writing this


	9. this is actually rlly sad ;-;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eheheheh he fell
> 
> TW///Self Harm and Suicide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for everyone I think I'm gonna take a break for a bit after i finish this ark (i think it would be considered an ark) because I have been writing these pretty much daily and need to prewrite a little bit more so that I can work on other things like school and work. Sorry, i have a few more chapters coming out before then...but be prepared for a break that'll probably only last a few weeks so don't worry about it lol

  
  


**The know™**

**2:37 PM** **  
  
**

**Should be dead™:** I believe Hajime might be falling…

**Should also be dead™:** Yeah….i think so too

**Should be dead™:** Is there anything we can do abt it…..

**Should also be dead™:** i wish but....

 **Should also be dead™:** we just have to hope that he makes the right decision....and if he doesn’t….

 **Should also be dead™:** Junko is dead so he should be put in our class after the project...we can try to help him afterwards if he goes through with it 

**Should also be dead™:** And if he does do it maybe Izuru will remember after the nwp and he could help aswell...i think

**Should be dead™:** What hope chiaki

 **Should be dead™:** No matter what happens to him you’ll help Hajime in any way that you can

**Should also be dead™:** You would also help me right?

**Should be dead™:** Oh i would do anything to help an Ultimate like yourself 

**Should also be dead™:** Go to sleep Nagito its late

**Should be dead™:** Of course have a good night chiaki

**Should also be dead™:** you too gnight

_2 users have gone offline_

  
  


\----------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


Midterms are coming up. Hajime doesn’t know what to do. Everything is just becoming more and more stressful. 

His dad won’t let him study with Nagito and Chiaki anymore. He needs to be home at 4 o’clock sharp or he has to study at the dinner table. 

Will he even pass his midterms? Will he get booted from Hope’s Peak for getting too low of scores. Gods above what can he do?

Well

He knows one thing to do...but, is that really a good idea. 

Of course it’s not, the kamukura project is practically suicide. But then again, is that really so bad?

If he went through with the project at least he would be gone and he wouldn’t be worthless.

Can he really afford to do this anymore? 

There are bandaids on his thighs again. His wrists are raw again. His thumb is burned again. 

Is the Kamukura project his last chance at being something better?

Yes, it is. 

He’s going to do it...but Nagito and Chiaki…

Can he really just leave them like that? Then again, they probably would be better off without him. They would like the new him better than his current self, they would prefer someone with a talent.

With that he took the paperwork, signed his name and told his father about the project.

His father wholeheartedly agreed. Hajime may have gotten in trouble for not telling his dad about the project sooner but the papers were signed nonetheless. 

The papers said that he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about the project. They never said that he couldn’t say goodbye. He can’t basically kill himself and not at least say goodbye. He can’t back out now, even if he wanted to now that his dad knows he has to do it.

  
  


\----------------------------------------------------

  
  


**Meme**

**7:16 PM**

  
  


**Hajimeme:** hey guys can we meet up?

**Mememaeda:** if you want to 

**Mememaeda:** When and where if you don’t mind me asking

**Nanameme:** Sounds okay with me as well when and where do you want to meet up though?

**Hajimeme:** Can we meet up at the park just outside of me and chiaki’s neighborhood?

 **Hajimeme:** and is tonight okay?

**Nanameme:** That works for me...i think

 **Nanameme:** but won’t you get in trouble?

**Mememaeda:** I can do that

 **Mememaeda:** and what Chiaki said 

**Hajimeme:** I’ll just sneak out is 10 okay since ik my dad will be asleep by then

**Mememaeda:** Yeah it’s okay

**Nanameme:** sounds good...i think

  
  


_1 user has gone offline_

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
  


**The know™**

**7:27 PM**

  
  


**Should be dead™:** I think that he’s going to do it….

**Should also be dead™:** yeah...i think so too 

**Should also be dead™:** But there is nothing we can do...we’ll just have to try and convince him not too and be there for him if he does go through with it

**Should be dead™:** Wow chiaki the hope that shines within you is truly astonishing believing that your friend will be okay when the odds are so against you! 

**Should also be dead™:** He’s your friend as well Nagito...i think

**Should be dead™:** right, my apologies…

 **Should be dead™:** I'll see you tonight Chiaki 

**Should also be dead™:** ditto 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song i was listening to last time was 'Achilles Come Down' honestly this whole fic came from a cosplay thing i made with my mutuals to that song so...yeah 
> 
> oh and the school definitely chose the time to consider the project by putting around one of the most stressful times of the year specifically because they know exactly how Hajime is


	10. Achilles come down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw suicide 
> 
> ehhehehh im sad but i guess you'll get Kamukura soon ;-;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known that I wrote this while listening to 'two trucks' by lemon demon on loop 
> 
> Me before writing this: "Yeah, this'll be filled with cute komahinanami fluff and only a little bit of angst because they deserve to be happy :D"  
> Me while writing: "Well...I kind of want to write Izuru so only a little bit of angst so that he can come in :)"  
> Me now: "Well shit..."

Sneaking out took a lot of courage that Hajime barely had. Then again, it wasn’t really courage, more absolute fear at the idea of not having a chance to say goodbye since the project will likely go awry. What a situation Hajime is in.

Since Hajime’s room was on the first floor of the house all he had to do was open the window and head out as soon as he heard his dad turn off the TV and his fathers door close from upstairs.

As soon as he was out the house Hajime bolted. He ran all of the way to the small park. It only took him about ten minutes but it still left him breathless. Pulling out his phone to check the time Hajime saw that it was 9:50 PM he was ten minutes early, perfect. 

Smiling as he entered the park Hajime took a second to look around and admire the area around him. Monkey bars, a swingset, those weird slide things. It was all there, Hajime honestly wished he could go back to being a kid. 

Catching his breath Hajime grabbed onto the monkey bars and climbed on top of them like he used to as a kid. With a smile he reached for the thick low hanging branch about a foot away from where he was standing and hoisted himself to sit on it so he could see Nagito and Chiaki when the two of them got there. 

Maybe he could have a little fun with Nagito never having been here. Hajime stood up on the thick branch and maneuvered so that he was sitting in an area shrouded by leaves. 

It’s nice, being able to take in the night air like this. He likely won’t get to experience a night like this again. 

“Didn’t you say that he was normally early?” Came nagito’s voice from the road near the park. 

“He’s probably waiting inside the park...I think.”

Smiling Hajime heard the two walk over, looking for him until they came to a stop underneath the tree, how lucky. 

He did ask for them to meet him. With a small sad smile Hajime got down from the high branch and sat down on the thick one by the monkeybars. 

“Hey guys.” He said with a small smile and wave.

“Oh, you can still do that?”

“H-Hajime!” Came Chiaki and Nagito’s voices from below him. 

“Heh, yeah I can. Come on up we have something we need to discuss.” Hajime said with a somber tone shifting over so that the two of them have room on the branch and monkey bars. 

“We’re having this conversation...up there?” Nagito asked, looking a little nervous. 

“Do you not think you can get up here?” Hajime asked innocently.

“Eheh, I wouldn’t say that-”

“Then let’s go,” Chiaki sighed, hoisting themself up on top of the bars to sit.

With an anxious breath Nagito climbed up onto the monkey bars, shaking the whole time. Hajime held out his hand and Nagito gratefully took it, moving to sit next to Hajime on the thick branch.

“So what did you want to talk to us about Hajime?” Chiaki prompted.

With a frown Hajime looked away from the two of them, already feeling the guilt pool in his stomach. He has to tell them a believable lie or else they’ll catch on.

“My dad’s pulling me out of Hope’s Peak.” That sentence hun in the air for a few moments before Nagito lets out a sad huff of laughter.

“You agreed to the project.” Hajime’s head quickly whipped around to stare at Nagito dumbfounded, how did he-

“We knew about it, but it wasn’t really our place to convince you not too…”

“You-” there were tears beginning to pool in Hajime’s eyes now.

They knew. They knew and they left the decision up to him. 

“You guys know that i’m probably going to die during this project right? There’s a reason so many reserve course students have been going missing recently.” 

Both Nagito and Chiaki had tears in their eyes. They didn’t want him to go but they all knew that it was already too late. 

“Can we...Can we at least have tonight before you go Hajime?” Chiaki asked, wiping the tears from their face. 

“Yeah, yeah we can have tonight.” Hajime smiled.

And they did, they spent a lot of that night talking in the tree before getting down and walking around the neighborhood before Hajime had to go back home. It was nearly 4 AM by then. 

With a wave to his friends Hajime climbed back through the window, he wished he hadn't given his dad the papers. Why did he have to make such a rash decision? It’s too late now. 

Changing into his pajamas Hajime layed down on his bed and cried. He was really doing this. 

He’s really killing himself tomorrow. 

He made a big mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also i love the idea of the three of them just vibing in a tree okay 
> 
> do y'all ever just climb trees when y'all're feeling sad bc i do ;-;


	11. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well....goodbye Hajime and helloooo Izuru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me:let’s write a longer chapter with at least a little bit of fluff  
> Me as im posting this: 👁💧👄💧👁

**Chaos**

**6:01 AM**

  
  


**Hajimeme:** Good morning everyone, my dad is pulling me out of Hope’s Peak today so I won’t see you all for a while. See you guys later.

**Simp:** Since when did you type so formally dude 

***screaming*:** HAJIME WHYRE YOU TYPING LIKE A BOOMER AHFLKDJ

 ***screaming*:** HAJIMEEEEE

  
  


**_Hajimeme_ ** _has left_ **_chaos_ **

  
  


**Simp:** tf

 **Simp: @Nanameme** yo can u add him back

**Nanameme:** he deleted his account…..i think

***screaming*:** why’d he do that???

**Nanameme:** i don’t know 

**Nanameme:** I’m gonna go talk to him **@Hopesexual** wanna come with me?

**Hopesexual:** omw

  
  


\---------------------------------------------------------------

  
  


With a resigned expression Nagito made his way over to Chiaki’s house. It was early, it was a wonder that Chiaki was awake right now. 

Knocking on the door to her small house Nagito heard Chiaki make their way over to the door to come outside to find Hajime with him. 

As she opened the door she put a finger to her lips in a shushing motion before beckoning him to follow her to the side of the house. 

Once back there Chiaki pointed to a window at Hajime’s house. The window seemed to lead to his bedroom. Chiaki and Nagito walked over to it, peeking inside they saw Hajime sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. His shoulders were shaking, it looked like Hajime was crying. 

With a light tap on the window Hajime jumped up and whipped his head over to where Nagito and Chiaki were standing right outside of his window. Hajime had tears running down his face. It looked so out of character for him. Standing there dumbfounded in only a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. Chiaki tapped on the window again to get Hajime’s attention back. 

Shaking his head Hajime hurried to open the window.

“What are you guys doing here?” Hajime whisper-yelled. 

Taking a glance at Chiaki Nagito turned to look Hajime in the eyes. His eyes looked so empty, as if he had no hope left. 

“Your texts were weird and you deleted your account. We were worried.” 

“You don’t need to worry about me, I'll be fine.” When he said that it would have been convincing if his voice hadn’t cracked halfway through.

“You know exactly what will happen when you go to school in a few hours...I think.” Chiaki stated, looking at Hajime square in the eye.

“I just-” Hajime’s voice caught. “Can we not talk about it? And can we go somewhere else? My dad will think that I went to school early.” Hajime asked, turning his head away in shame.

With a small smile Chiaki stepped away from the window. “Get dressed, we can hang out at the café a few blocks from Hope’s Peak.” 

  
  


\-------------------------------------------------------

  
  


**The Know™**

**8:10 AM**

  
  


**Should be dead™:** Now we wait I guess…

 **Should be dead™:** How long did it take last time?

**Should also be dead™:** Last time the first that I heard of Kamukura was about 6 months after Hajime disappeared...i think…

**Should be dead™:** This is going to be a long few months…

 **Should be dead™:** Do you still want to meet up by the fountain?

**Should also be dead™:** Yeah…

 **Should also be dead™:** that’d be nice...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading this much....I normally have fairly consistent updates...but i'm going to take a break for a few weeks. Knowing me it won't be that long...I just need sometime to get my mental health in check and then prewrite the next arc. Sorry about this I'll try to update again around christmas or new year.


	12. Déjà vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kamukura project is now underway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: *Goes on mental health break so that I can work on my problems and maybe go to therapy*  
> also me: *ends up at the hospital because of this*
> 
> im safe guys dont worry i just havent been in the danganronpa fandom for a bit

  
  


He’s gone. It’s hard to believe that they lost him. Nagito and her just let him go. Hajime might not return without the Neo World Program. What could they possibly have done though? Hajime was stubborn. Even if Hajime didn’t want to, Hope's Peak knew what kind of father Hajime had. They knew that it took one email and they could have him in no time. 

It’s Nagito’s fault. They should have done more, both Chiaki and them. They could have done more. What despair this is. Someone like him could never have saved Hajime. He’s so worthless, how arrogant of him to believe that he could save someone like Hajime.

In a few months they might have Kamukura in their class. Nagito likes Kamukura, they really do. He hopes that they remember like him and Chiaki do. Maybe they will know a way for Hajime to return without the work of the Neo World Program. 

There is nothing that they can do but wait.

“Hey hey!” 

Looking up Nagito came face to face with Chiaki. They were right in his face. 

Backing up in surprise they looked down at her in confusion. “What is it?” Nagito asked, confused as to why Chiaki looks so disgruntled. 

“You look like you’re giving up hope Nagito.” Chiaki smiles. “Kamukura will come next semester so we can talk to them about everything when they get here. All we need is patience.” She smiled at him, “and hey I’ve already done this once, it will be nice to have someone else to hang out with.”

With a small smile Nagito looked down at his hands. He clasped them together and smiled at Chiaki. “Yeah, we just have to be patient.”

  
  


It’s December. Hajime will likely be back in March or April. Patience...they can do that.

  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------------------

  
  
  


“Now Hinata with this project there will be many procedures. Today we will start you off by simply taking your vitals and getting your bloodwork done. Tomorrow we plan to work on your legs.” The nurse spoke in a clinical tone. He understood what he was doing. He hated it, but he understood.

He nods. She gives a small smile before placing a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants on the hospital bed they provided him. “I will be right back. Please change into these before I return.” She quickly left the room. Probably to grab the supplies to check his vitals and take his blood.

Quickly standing up Hajime changed out of his Reserve course uniform and into the clothes they provided him with. Looking around the bland room he found himself in Hajime just knew how bored he is going to be in the near future.

There is clanging outside of the room. Turning towards the door the nurse from before comes in, a medium sized machine and box in her hands.

She took his blood pressure, his temperature and his oxygen levels before asking for his arm. He gave it to her, no questions asked. Looking away he felt her stick the needle into his forearm. It hurt, but not a lot. 

He felt her take multiple vials. It was making him feel faint and nauseous. 

“And done.” She smiles. “Thank you for your cooperation. Get some rest and someone will come to check your vitals and give you and IV in a few hours.” She says with a small bow ducking her head slightly before leaving him on his own.

Still feeling sick from having his blood taken, Hajime layed down on the hard hospital bed. He didn’t even realize he fell asleep. 

He woke up once to them taking his vitals and inserting the IV but he quickly fell asleep after eating. He doesn’t remember ever being able to sleep this easily before. There is either something other than saline in the IV bag or they’re drugging his food. 

It’s probably both knowing Hope’s Peak.

_They've done it before._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got obsessed with death note so i might write something from that at some point but idk  
> anyways im probably gonna go on a longer haitus just for my own mental health i'm sorry


End file.
